I hate to admit it but our son loves cars. It is in some ways quite annoying because I (together with authors of Montessori from the Start) think it's a kinda pointless toy. I mean he has two cars we received as a present and I thought he would be fine with them at least till 3, but it seems like he would appreciate to have more. He always picks a car from a bunch of toys in sandboxes (for some reason there are toys lying around in downtown playgrounds), in the play-corners in shops,...and he is happily saying "brm brm" over and over and over...I guess following child's lead also means getting him toys you don't fully approve of...? Cars are probably less evil than battery operated toys, so I should just let my prejudices towards cars go and we should get him some tomorrow. Or just let it slide and he would play with those he finds outside of home? 

I am aware how silly this sounds to a mainstream parent, but it somehow doesn't fit much into my idea how I want to raise him, what toys he should have...If we get the car(s) as a present, it is ok, but I just don't feel like buying it/them especially as it is kinda against my beliefs. 

Spring is finally here

We are spending a lot of time outside, going places, etc. I recently realized that Teodor is back to enjoying going to new places, so I'm trying to fulfill this new need + it makes motherhood easier for me, especially if I have a chance to take the dog with me, so he gets tired too. Wish it was allowed to take him to playgrounds.

Like in a mirror

The other day I was emailing to a friend whom I haven't emailed for quite some time as she is not on social media and having Teodor didn't give me enough of spare time to send her a long email (of course, if I really wanted, I would find the time) and one of my sentences was about how amazing it is to see myself in Teodor, how he reflects me...It really seems to me like Teodor is my mirror.

For example if we are short on each other with his dad (we even can keep the conversation casual, but he somehow can sense it), he goes around and does the same angry gestures I sometimes do when we are alone and get worked up, or when I'm looking for something, he is doing the same gestures I do when we are looking for his toys and when we can't find them. If I get worked up, he gets worked up. If I laugh, he laughs. If I am nervous, he is nervous. If I am chilled, he is mostly chilled, too.
I have a friend who is very expressive with her daughter and her daughter is also very expressive. At the playground I met a mother who was grabbing stuff from her son's hands and her son was then taking stuff out of Teodor's hands, a few days ago I met with a chilled mom and her child was also chilled (and he didn't grab stuff out of Teodor's hands). It might not work 100%, but it is interesting to think about what model of behaviour I am giving to my child.

First trip to the playground

Normally we go to the playground next to our building, seems perfectly fine for our needs, usually there are no kids (although there are lots of toddlers living here, don't know where they are hiding), so we can take Charlie with us (of course he is not allowed to pee there) and there is no waiting time.

The weather got so much better (warmer) in the last few days, so I invited a friend whom I meet quite regularly and who has a daughter 1 month younger than Teodor to go to a playground in the main city park. 

Picture from the Internet

It is a huge, fenced area with lots of slides and sand, not many other attractions, though and it is much cleaner than our local playground, probably because bigger kids are not allowed to go there (the park is guarded)...There were quite a lot of kids, which would be great for socializing if like almost everyone didn't speak Russian.

I've heard lots of stories how it looks like in the playgrounds and I must admit, they are somewhat true. There were mothers not watching their kids, so when one pushed Teodor who fell, nobody went to say sorry to him or tell the girl to say sorry (she was around 4-5, so she could do it), another girl stole a toy from him (luckily Teodor didn't mind) and there was a kid riding a tricycle, which I considered very dangerous because a three-year old totally doesn't care about a one-year old chasing pigeons (Teodor didn't see anything else than the birds), but there were also friendly people, but mostly everyone was in their own bubble. 

When we came, I took off Teodor's shoes because the ground was warm and because I strong believer in children running barefoot in order to let their foot muscles develop naturally. Took mine off too because it is very nice to walk on warm sand. Felt the disapproving looks of other parents but didn't care. One girl wanted to be barefoot too, but her mother immediately put her shoes back on. Poor little one. 

Running barefoot after pigeons was the best. He was chasing them for at least half hour, I still can't believe he could run for so long. He was soo into it that I stopped existing for that time. A bit sad but also exciting. At the end two boys (about 2 and 3 years) joined him and he could keep up with them. I felt so proud. Of course he couldn't run as fast as them, but they all somehow managed to keep together...the birds were funny, they seemed like they enjoyed the game, you know, they were close enough to keep the toddlers motivated, but far enough to keep themselves safe. 

Self-feeding, a huge progress

Can you see it? He is self-feeding with a fork, eating pieces and no food flying around? I am starting to believe he might eat solid, unmixed, food by the time we fly to CZ. This is so exciting!

he should or shouldn't he?

"He should sleep through the night."

"He should sleep in his own bed."

"He shouldn't play in puddles."

"He should already eat pieces."

"Shouldn't he be already potty-trained?"

Sounds familiar?

Why are we trying to put children in tables and if they don't fit, it's wrong? Why do we think all children should be the same? Why is uniformity so desired?

Sometimes some of  these "should" pieces of advice get into my head and always, I repeat ALWAYS, it leads to troubles, it is so exhausting to try to make Teodor what I think he should do instead of just following his lead. I am now thinking maybe that's why is motherhood for so many people so exhausting because they try to fit into what is expected and it's damn difficult to make the child do what/when they are not ready for (it).

"You should cook."

"You should clean."

Blah blah

These are quotes my mother quite often tells me on skype. They drive me nuts. Should I cook just because she says so? Should I cook because I am expected to or isn't it better to cook because if we have warm meal, I feel better than living on bread all day long? 

Why do people like tell other people what they should do (in their opinion). When I was thinking about this post, I realized that I'm telling the dad what he should do about Teodor (you should get up earlier and play with your son) and then I realized that must drive him nuts. So, I am changing the wording :) Or maybe I will try to get myself less involved...?

My point...It is the best to ignore all the good "should" pieces of advice because you know your child the best and we all do not have to be the same because then the life would be boring. And it will save you a lot of nerves (you need for something else). Besides, almost all children will eventually start sleeping at night, eat pieces, use the toilet,...

Pull toys

I think pull toys are a must for a toddler, he loves pulling something behind him..if he doesn't have a toy with him, he uses Charlie's leash (which I am not happy about and actually don't want him to do it) or his doll (it's long enough to be pulled behind :).

Sheep he got from his granny.

Push and pull duck - he uses it as both

Wooden caterpillar I bought in Riga long before he was born. Charlie loves to chew on its antennas. 

We always meet interesting stuff on the way.

Kisses

Am I the only one who does not really enjoy the wet kisses, which are more like "I'm trying to eat you" or "Let me wipe my nose"?

What can a 13-month old do?

That satisfied look on his face when manages to do something on his own is worth all the trouble. I am all for toddlers helping with chores because they learn things don't happen on their own and it helps to build their self-confidence because they are useful, (important) part of the family.

Here is a list of what Teodor helps me with quite regularly:

• He puts vacuum cleaner cable to the socket for me (I have to push it in properly) - it is a new skill, he is so proud and eager to help with this. He also takes it out.
• He puts dishwasher tablet into the dishwasher (he no longer tries to eat it)
• He presses the buttons after being shown which ones to press
• He closes the dishwasher door
• He helps me to unload the dishwasher by handing me the dishes
• He sometimes re-organizes the dishwasher with dirty dishes - I don't consider it as help but from his facial expression I assume he does.
• He helps me to load the washing machine, either he hands me the dirty laundry or he takes it on his own and puts it in the machine on his own.
• He helps me to unload the washing machine and dryer.
• He can throw stuff to the trash bin.
• He brings clean laundry to where it belongs (I go with him and show him, otherwise he would put it all in one place, he can hold up to 2 pieces of laundry)
• He can wipe the floor after he peed on it and bring the dirty cloth to the laundry bin
• He can be asked to put something somewhere
• He can help with entertaining the dog "Teodor, please throw the ball to Charlie"
• He loves to help with brushing the dog

Can't really think of anything else now but I am sure there is more how he is involved in family life. 

How to entertain a 13-month old?

Take them for a toddler walk. Spring and summer are really great for this (I actually plan to continue even in autumn and winter), it does not require much activity from your side because the new walkers are quite slow and everything on the way is soooo interesting, so the walks is more about the walking and exploring experience than really getting somewhere.

Our morning walk is about 500m long and it takes us about an hour, I sometimes carry Teodor, so we get somewhere because we have Charlie (dog) with us and the walk is also meant for him :)

Here is a list of things he does on the walk (not all every time but you can see how he can turn a boring ten-minute walk into a whole adventure :)

Sit pretty under the almost-in-blossom tree and examine the flowers around.

Drain covers are just irresistible

Pee-a-boo before going home

Walking up the stairs on his own

Splashing puddles.

Examining a rock he found in the puddle. Charlie is not amused.

Watching cars

Taking his pull animal for a walk

Testing whether the licence plate is well-attached

Taking a selfie with mummy...this is one of the ways how to get him from A to B fast

Finding sticks (there is usually Charlie on the other end)

Climbing on everything

Sometimes we watch children in the kindergarten, that day nobody was out.

Sitting on whatever it is called and examining the "nail"?

Truck!!!

Playing with sand/picking up stones

If I had Internet on my phone, I could be online most of the time, those walks make it very easy to entertain the child, which is sometimes challenging at home as he doesn't have that many toys (ok, he has enough but not that many that he could be throwing them out of several boxes and it would take him an hour) or we don't let him watch youtube (we don't have TV). And I finally have to remember to dress myself warmer than the child because he is almost always in motion while I'm standing nearby being cold.

Baby signs

Elimination communication and baby signs were two things which sounded very interesting but I thought I wouldn't do them because the first one I considered for bored people who don't do anything else than watch their babies waiting for a sign he needs to pee/poop and the other one requires a lot of consistency and self-study from parents. Actually, I tried baby signs with him when he was around 7-8 months, but no response + it was quite difficult to sign something to him when he was in the wrap, so he couldn't see what my hands were doing, so I gave up. But lately he has been showing a great interest in broadening his passive vocabulary and copying my hand movements, so it was time to reconsider my attitude to baby signs.

Around the time he turned one, he started to be very interested in picture books, he pointed at a picture, looked at me and waited for me to give the thing a name. I sometimes signed something (made up signs) and I could see he loved it and tried to copy it. I've already said it many times on this blog that I believe in the child's lead in the raising process, so it was time for me to google some signs and start showing them to him. It's so wonderful when he signs something back or when he signs something and it's right. He seems to connect the sign and the word, but he does not always connect it with the real thing, he probably needs much more practise. The only things he signs with perfection are dog, milk (breastmilk) and I want to poop. The dad is teaching him "I want to play/torture the dog." :) Today he figured out how to sign a "bird" - it is challenging for his motor skills to do the same movement as mummy - so everything is a "bird" today :))


I hope to learn/teach him a lot more signs, so I know what he wants...It is wonderful when he climbs in our bed and signs milk or when he is out of his balance, he also signs milk and I know what he wants and can give it to him and it helps to keep the peace in our household...Or when we come home, he signs that he wants to eat, so I give him food and it prevents him from being grumpy...As he grows older, he will have more wishes and baby signs will hopefully help me to understand him better. Another reason why I decided to give it a go is that he has to master 4 languages and that's not easy, with signs he might talk to mummy and daddy even without knowing their mother tongues.

Raising money for starting our own business

We want to start our own business, but it requires a lot of money at the beginning...and as I'm flying to Czech in June and I have one spare luggage, we came up with the idea to sell things our dad makes in his free time. Anyway, boost our dad's ego and buy his creations, Czech people contact me on MK, the other people will find them on etsy (I will post a link this weekend when he finally uploads them there)

Montessori Permanence Box, 10 euros

Montessori coin box, 10 euros

Ball run with two wooden balls (not painted), 25 euros

Sandals

Shoes are a total nuisance...I spend hours surfing the Internet looking for the right shoes, right now, sandals are the issue plus he should get another pair of sneakers or whatever those shoes we need another pair of are called.

Shall I go with Liliputi sandals, which are not a "real shoe"?

Or Bobux, which are cute but also 3 times more expensive?

Or to try so well-reviewed KidOfit, which I personally do not consider cute...? But maybe shoes should be about functionality, not prettiness? 

Or to try something nobody in Czech really has? Zeazookids..they look great and actually have very positive reviews + they customize the shoe to your child's foot measurements, but is it possible to measure Teodor's foot precisely?

And what if we don't have summer this year?

Why are shoes for girls so much cuter and why is there almost always a wider choice for them than for boys?

I am infatuated by his MyMayu rain boots. I want a pair for myself.

Teodor seemed in a relatively good mood yesterday afternoon (teething sucks), so I decided it was time to give another try to MyMayu rain boots. After initial hesitation, he made a few careful steps on his own, then he figured out that those boots are awesome.

They are super easy to put on, the upper part of the shoe is not as "fat" as Stonz is, which makes it much easier to put some water-proof pants over the shoe (with Stonz I was always wondering whether to put pants over the shoe or stuff them inside of the shoe and often none was good enough), the sole is super soft (softer than Livie and Luca Fox shoes) and they over-ally look great. The model we have is only water-repelent (not resistant), but seems like it's enough for us, for spring and summer. We'll probably get Aqua line for the autumn. 

I am so glad we found these wellies, so relieved we don't have to go with the usual bulky rain boots.

Notice the end of the video, it's amazing he didn't trip over. 

The dilema which animals to get is solved

This morning we went to the vet with Charlie, he somehow managed to remove his nail, and there was a figure of a dog who looked like a dog in the waiting room, if I overlook the fact he was signing a "cat" and saying "meow" in his language at first, he was very very fond of it, he petted the figure, and when I told him it was a "dog" "woof woof", he started signing a dog :) Anyway, I decided to go with Schleich animals, I'll get him the wooden ones later.

13 months

He was 13 months yesterday. The time flies so fast with the children, I was thinking why...and it's probably because everything takes a lot of time with a toddler. We had to run errands yesterday twice, it took us the whole afternoon, it takes time before I get him dressed, then he walks on his own, then undress him, feed him, make him sleep, dress him again, feed him, go out where he walks, run the errand, walking home...and it was 18:20...

Everything on the way needs to be inspected properly...and yes, he is chewing on a stick he found a bit earlier, he offered it to the dog who didn't want it, so he took it himself :)

Wellies, part 2

MyMayu rain boots came in yesterday. They are the cutest little wellies I've ever seen, super soft, super easy to put on, but our son doesn't think very high of them. He refuses to walk in them. Hope it's gonna change because these are the coolest wellies on the block!

Livie and Luca Grey Fox - quick review after a week and something of usage

This is him walking in his Livie and Luca fox shoes a bit over a week after we got them. The sole got softer after a few walks, we learned how to put them on, we like that the tongue is sewn only on one side, so the tongue never rolls in when putting his foot in, they seem to be quite scratch resistant...I still miss the removable lining, otherwise I am happy with them.
He, of course, walks much better without any footwear, but the weather just doesn't allow to remove it yet. Can't wait for both of us running barefoot this summer.

Rant

Since I am slightly frustrated (not badly, not at all, just a feeling of I need to have some time on my own outside of the apartment, see the post below), I tend to feel like Teodor should do things my way and it is sooo exhausting! I don't know how do other parents do the constant (power) fights...I am all for raising children in the blend of the books Raising children, raising ourselves and The Discipline Book because it makes the job so much easier.

(I am planning to write a very long post on the topic of discipline and the books I've read, but I don't feel inspired yet)

Keeping it simple

Both Montessori and Waldorf are about having the day somehow structured and simple, they definitely do not promote any baby/toddler lessons or trips to the shopping centres...So I've been trying to it simple for Teodor in the last two months, he seems to like it, but I'm starting to feel a bit frustrated. I miss those days when I could just put him in the wrap and go out, he'd sleep, nurse, poop and sleep again..I miss those days I was on my own. I miss the action. We really don't do much during the day, we go out for toddler walks (usually preceded by a at least 5-minute scream because putting a hoodie on is just too much of clothes no matter what the weather outside looks like), then undressing, washing hands, peeing, cooking, making him sleep (I was thinking I would have up to 3 hours more if he just fell asleep on his own), then I spend some time surfing the Internet, lately I've been putting together a shopping list of what I want to purchase for him when back in CZ, he is usually up in one, one and half hour, then getting ready for going out/eating, then being outside, going home, washing hands, peeing, getting the meal ready...you get the picture. I try to do a at least one chore with him during the day, but it's not enough...I'm thinking how to make this whole thing more effective and how to get less annoyed.

Last Saturday I went shopping on my own and it was perfect, I went to a shop nearby, so Teodor and the dad were alone for little bit over an hour, which is right now probably the most they can do. The dad is learning to spend time with his son and it shouldn't be rusher/overdone. Even if I wanted to go out for a longer stretch of time, I can't because I breastfeed him until he falls asleep and he naps every 3-4 hours...there are not many options where to go if I have only 1 to 2 hours, we live at the total edge of the city...

Side note for Asnate: When I'm writing this, I'm thinking how I would survive in Aegviidu... :)