Out of his comfort zone

After we waved our guests from Finland goodbye, we went to our local playground. This time me and his dad went together and both of us, after some negotiating, stayed. Teodor is that kind of a child who is happy just with sitting in the sand, he doesn't need to run around. He always says "no" to my suggestions to try a swing or those other things there. Something weird has happened today.

He has been refusing to try the swing since autumn

And suddenly he was even fine with trying it alone

He loved falling down from that thing. At first I saw some fractures about to happen, but he's probably made out of rubber.

I am so happy that he was willing to try something different. 

Btw. Tomorrow we are going to check the possible Montessori kindergarten he might start from September. 

What does a newborn need?

Anastasia turned 7 weeks today, she is no longer a newborn. There are at least 3 proofs of that: she cut her naps from 8 hours per day to 6 hours, she started really looking around and she intentionally smiles (which is really cute).

With the second child, you realize that a newborn doesn't need much, for us the essentials were/are:

• Woven wraps (plural is important because when one is in the washing machine, you can use the other one, or if she throws up in one, you have a back-up option). Thanks to babywearing she slept most of the day. Totally worth it. 
• Some clothes suitable for babywearing, this is an issue especially for trousers, most of them are just not comfortable, these are actually the only things I have to buy because I don't have them after Teodor (I started babywearing much later and with not so babywearing-friendly trousers). Also babywearing clothes for me is very handy because if she sleeps in the wrap, then suddenly I need to go out, so I don't need to wake her up.
• A place where to put her if it is needed to deal with Teodor/cooking/anything else and you are too lazy to put her in the wrap. For us it is the Stokke bounce'n'sleep daybed (which is possible to rock and theoretically should work for making her sleep, but somehow I don't use it for it at all) and Stokke Tripp Trapp with a newborn set (it's a high chair with a "car seat" on the top)
• One black and white toy to be hung on the newborn set. 
• Access to breast - not unlimited because of her throwing up, she has to have pauses between, but definitely we don't do the scheduled feedings. 

And that's pretty much it. I haven't even tried to give her a pacifier, I am genuinely surprised that it's so easy to do it without it. I would have never believed that. We don't need a mobile. Another surprise. Teodor loved it and she might have too but she doesn't have a crib, therefore there's no place where to hang it. Her toddler brother is just enough of entertainment.

Also clothes, she can live on three bodies, two sets of trouser and socks and also some hats (woolen, wool+silk and cotton). We don't have cardigans, jackets or any cool outfits. Two weekends ago I tried to persuade my man to buy her a cool outfit while we were shopping for clothes for ourselves and Teodor, but he said "no" because she's always in the wrap and there's no point. He was, to my disappointment, right, so I don't have a stylish baby, which is totally ok, I only can't get likes on Modry Konik :-). We don't use any anti-gas drops, I exercise with her legs + elimination communication do the job. Btw. I realized I do elimination communication, but use mostly disposable diapers, it is not very typical, I suppose. The reason is that she sleeps so well that I don't want to disturb her with diaper-changes. We don't do any baby gym lessons or swimming, which I would love to but I have a toddler who probably wouldn't enjoy watching it. With Teodor I was desperate to get out of the apartment,  I was so tired from taking care of him, he screamed a lot, so these lessons were my relaxation. Now with both of them, I like to go out because she sleeps the best in the fresh air and it's easy to entertain Teodor there. I am definitely not so tired as I was two years ago when I had only one child. Lately I've been asking myself if Teodor would be a happier baby if I babywore him from the beginning and was not feeding him on schedule (ok, that would definitely cut some screaming), but on the other hand attachment parenting doesn't always make happy babies. Teodor had some other health issues (nothing serious, just small annoying things), which made his start a bit more difficult and might turn him into a cranky baby, but luckily he grew into a very calm, focused toddler. 

Overally, Anastasia is a very cheap baby in contrast to Teodor :) Even though, I have so much money in the babywearing stuff that if I sell it once, I can buy a used car. 

Selfie from yesterday. Girls' morning out.

Teodor and Anastasia

He knows the gesture for taking a selfie on my phone :)

It's been 6 weeks since we brought A. home and the A.-T. relationship has changed a lot.

• He is no longer 100% afraid of her, maybe still a little bit, but it is possible to take a picture of them together.
• He now ignores her only about 95%. It is understandable, she is a potato which sleeps a lot or just lies on the sheepskin or bed and does nothing interesting for him. But he loves to open the butt cream and spread it on her butt. I suppose he'd love to spread it all over her. He sometimes helps to close the diaper. He loves to practice closing snap fasteners on her clothes. He also points at pictures on her clothes, especially if she wears something with cars. Oh, he laughs a lot when she farts. 
  
• He still hates when she cries/screams, he is willing to sacrifice my attention just for her to shut up. 
• I'm pretty sure he's trying to say her name. 
• He loves to jump on the bed next to her face, put Charlie's ball on her (Charlie is a stupid dog when it comes to balls), not only once he tried to kick her down from the bed, he takes her toys and puts them back in the box, obviously she doesn't need them yet. 
• She smiles at him a lot. She loves to watch him playing. Children seem to be born to be in other children's company. Can't seriously wait for them to start playing together, I hope it will go as I'm dreaming of it :)

Let's play. Our games 24m+

Even though I would love to have pictures taken specially for this post, it's not in my powers to do so.

Memory pairs

I can't find any picture of us playing it but it was this game which made me realize he can follow simple rules and play games. The best for us is to play with reduced number of cards, like 12 seems to be ideal. That joy from turning the cards and happiness from seeing his favourite animals on the other side no matter if he found the pair or not makes me enjoy playing with him.

Janod: Fishing Game

The latest and probably the last game I bought for him. The fish are big enough for toddler hands, and after a few tries, he became quite a skilled fisherman. Hopefully soon he'll let us put them in the bath, so the fishing will become more challenging. Oh, and they come in a plastic bag with a zipper, he loves to practise opening and closing it.

Jenga/Tumbling Tower

This includes everything Teodor enjoys: building, destroying and a free play. He has to be helped to find a lose block but then he takes it out on his own. And when the tower collapses, he is genuinely happy.

BambinoLÜK

This is a genial "game". He got it for his second birthday but didn't understand it. It was yesterday? two days ago? when he got. He loves it now and I'm thinking how to get him more workbooks because once he'll understand the self-check concept, it'll be perfect. 

BOARD GAMES

Haba: My Very First Games: Animal Upon Animal

I wrote about this game earlier, he is becoming much better at stacking the animals and he fully understands how to play the first variation of the game. 

Haba: My Very First Games: First Orchard

I seriously love Haba games, they are a bit pricey, but the animals/fruit are wooden, rules are simple and even an adult enjoys playing them. This is another game he understands from the beginning till the end. Of course he loves throwing (not rolling) the dice a lot and to move with the bird because he's a big fan of birds. Actually, he doesn't understand the concept of winning and loosing, not sure how to explain it or if I even want it. 

The fruit is massive and very good quality.

I was cleaning our apartment yesterday afternoon and he was left to play alone...when I came to the living room, he set the game on his own. I couldn't say no to him. So we played. For some reason he doesn't like to play it today, though.

Djeco: Loto

Children version of Bingo. Cute pictures (Djeco has very eye pleasing design) and easy rules. It was the second game he was able to play after memory pairs. We only changed the rules a bit, after he turns the picture, we put it away because he would to turn the same card over and over again to see if the animal there remained the same. We also help each other, so if I turn the animal he needs, I give it to him and vice versa, so the game is over before he gets bored. 

Djeco: Little Cooperation

This game is 2.5+, he doesn't understand it fully but we can play if I give him instructions what to do. 

We both love the plastic animals, Teodor is happy that there's a polar rabbit and I love the penguin. It is another cooperative game without winners or losers, either the animals get to their igloo or they are stuck on the iceberg. 

Question

This is Teodor's blog, but I'm wondering if you would like to read about Anastasia as well here? 

Let's go outside and have some fun

Goodbye winter, hello spring

A new start for everything!

Goodbye snow and hello sun

Let's go outside and have some fun!

The lyrics up come from my favourite children's EFL song I used to sing a lot with the kids at school every spring. But the point is not to go back and start remembering the "good times" but to share what we've been up to lately. The weather got so much better that we spent a big part of the day outside.

Advantages of being outside:

• A. sleeps really well and long in the wrap outside
• Walking, running, jumping, watching birds/bugs/cars... makes Teodor tired
• Natural surfaces are great for motor development (I read one smart leaflet a few weeks ago)
• Fresh air charges me with energy, keeps me sane and generally if one of them is screaming, it's 100 times better than if they do it indoors. 
• The day goes by so fast

Forest as a playground and biology lab

Watching bugs

Touching ants

Sandbox on a path to the forest

He realized he can look up and watch the trees

Luige maaelu laat

We were thrilled to learn that village Luige is just a few kilometres from our home, so we went to see the farm animals and eat some home-made food. We have only pictures of the animals from the event and on the way back home, I demanded to have at least one picture of me (Teodor was sleeping in the stroller). 

A bit crazy idea to walk home. 

Kadriorg Park, Japanese Garden

Japanese garden is a must in spring. 

Even it doesn't look like so, he loved the water (he is trying to say "voda" now, it sounds like "beba") and the ducks swimming there.

Watching the water with his dad

Being a toddler. He starts to behave like children of his age, thank goodness.

Sensory walk? :)

Trip to the seaside after A.'s doctor's appointment

Travelling by public transport with two young children to the other side of the city was challenging. But it was worth it. Sand and water. Two substances which totally satisfied our toddler. Not to mention A. fell asleep on her own in the stroller and kept sleeping till we got home, that was seriously wonderful. 

Our local playground

He is totally into sand now. I hate the sand pies. I hate sitting in the sand and digging wet sand for him. I hate that A.'s not sleeping in the stroller, which would make this

 much easier. Spent 3 hours today in the sand...and what's even more annoying, he immediately destroys the product of our cooperation. 

And this is how it all ends :)

Side note: He has more clothes, but he prefers to wear the same and I have no intentions to fight with him about the hoodie he should wear.

Loto by Djeco

I hit the jackpot with purchasing Loto by Djeco, he understands the rules, he enjoys playing it, well-spent money :) 

Dealing with sibling rivalry, part 1

"We hit neither people*, nor animals," I was telling him while holding his hand firmly, probably more than necessary, as he was about to hit his sister...and then I stopped. I realized what I was saying and started reflecting on my own behaviour. That evening I was so pissed with him because he flooded the bathroom (which was not such a problem, it's a bathroom, right?) but the water also got under our hall floor, which is not very water-friendly, so I didn't behave very nicely to him.

I am strong believer in raising children by modelling the right behaviour and explaining/experiencing the consequences of each action rather than punishing him or playing power games. He has the right to be annoyed by his little sister, especially in the evenings (she sleeps most of the day, so he has no problem with her during that time) when he is tired and she is screaming...And then I was thinking about myself, that sometimes I am tired and/or hungry and then I'm also not very user-friendly...he has the right to be a whiny toddler when feeling so...In addition to the fact that toddlers cannot control their emotions so well as I can.

I started telling him that if he is angry/annoyed or wants to hit his sister, he should hit a pillow. He doesn't like this solution but maybe once he'll go with it. I also try to verbalize his feelings but I'm not sure how much he understands. Today he tried to push her down from the bed because he probably wanted me only for himself. And I understand it but I'm not sure how to deal with it, there is only one me and two children. I'm also questioning the piece of advice that one should pay a lot of attention to the older child because I was the younger, mostly over-looked, sibling in the family...don't both children have right to have some undivided attention? I sometimes want to cuddle with Anastasia, enjoy her first smiles but I feel guilty because of Teodor being nearby probably feeling neglected...on the other hand, he is getting way more cuddles than before she was born (he finally wants to cuddle, he didn't before her arrival). It's kinda difficult to balance this stuff.

My point is that I'm trying to watch my own behaviour towards him, so I'm not the one who is aggressive telling him not to be aggressive.




*Later I also realized that he probably doesn't consider his sister as "people" and should use "Stázka, Charlie,..." instead

Haba: Animal upon Animal

Finally the exciting times of playing board games is here! It is so much more fun to play memory pairs with him than to build towers or watch him putting the puzzles together.

Among the new games I bought for him, there was this one: My Very First Games: Animal upon Animal by Haba. I thought he was going to love it because he loves to build and destroy towers, so why not to make a tower out of animals, right? There are, I think, 5 different games you can play, which is pretty cool - one game for 33 euros would be rather expensive...

This is pretty much what you get: instructions in 5 languages (no Estonian translation), 9 wooden animals, 9 cards with the pictures of the animals, two big circles and two rectangles (these we don't use for the first game we tried with T., so I didn't pay attention what they are good for)

The animals have a pretty smart shape perfect for stacking, the quality is ok.

This is what we tried: To turn the sun cards and stack the animal which is in the picture - Teodor just loved to turn the pictures. He probably doesn't understand that the pictures represent the wooden animals. All in all, he didn't get it much, but still was trying to follow my instructions (what is in the picture? sound A dog? nodding So, take the dog and put it there...very commonly he would put the card with the picture there..)

I still think it is a very nice board game and hope he will soon start enjoying it.

The playground rules

With warmer weather, our local playground is getting more crowded and we have to deal with "sharing" situations.

I am a strong believer in not pushing the child to share. I would hate it myself if somebody would make me to give e.g. my phone to somebody just because they wanted to play with it/check it out. I believe his toys are as precious as mine. So, if he doesn't want to share, he doesn't have to. But if he wants to play with someone's else's toy and that someone doesn't want to lend it to him, he should offer him something in exchange. If the other child doesn't want to exchange, Teodor has to learn to deal with it. The thing is that other parents in our local playground (and probably also in the one in the city centre) push their children to share, so T. is not confronted with being said no. 

Yesterday I learnt he understands the playground rules: if you leave your things unattended, anybody can play with them. So when the other toddler came, he went to gather his stuff. He also understood that if he wanted the plastic shapes for making sand pie, he had to offer his excavator to the boy. Aaah, my baby boy loved making sand pie yesterday and even more he enjoyed destroying them :) (he cannot really make the sand shape, he was turning the shape too high above the ground, but he got the process how to make it)

The only worry is that probably other parents must thing I am over-protective because if I child took Teodor's excavator in the city centre park, I just went and took it back. I don't speak Russian and am not very good at explaining this stuff in Estonian...Challenging times are ahead of us. (Hope to get a kindergarten where he won't have to share...)