Our tricks how we keep it calm

Even though Teodor seems to be quite choleric (both his parents are), I'm starting to think we have a very calm household compared to other families with the similar aged toddlers.

So here is a list of tricks how we do it.

• Right nutrition - very little sugars and generally we try to limit the junk to minimum; he is still breastfed and gets fish oil on a regular basis (both very important sources of DHA acid, which is proved to have a calming effect on children)
• Lots of time-ins
• Lots of win time for him - The Happiest Toddler on the Block book suggests that "fair" means for toddler that he wins 90% of time...I love the idea and try to stick to it.
• I don't get bothered by "smallies", unimportant things, like e.g. if he spills something, I don't let it get to me, I try to look at it from wider perspective and we clean it together. I am pretty sure he doesn't spill water on the floor just because he wants to irritate me. There are millions things every day he considers important and which I could let bother me...but usually I don't. I always try think about the bigger picture, about him being this young, him discovering the world...for example he starts whining the moment I say "we are going out". When he is dressed, he starts signing "motorbike" and cries "brm brm brm" like we were going to leave it at home...He stops the whining only when we get out of the entrance door and I place the motorbike on the floor. Another example of a smallie is his love for being nude at home. I could spend a lot of nerves on negotiating with him or I can just do it as he wishes hoping he wouldn't get cold (he does sometimes, but never got a runny nose from it or anything else). I am mostly doing what he wants, which gives him those 90% of winning, and therefore he is willing to cooperate on the bigger, important things. 
• Right communication techniques - "no" is not the word to use if you want your child stop doing something. 
• Calm family environment - children mostly reflect their parents, right? Having a functioning family is, in my opinion, a great help.Another thing: If I am tired, I tend to get worked up easier, and so is Teodor less mentally stable, so I try to keep myself relaxed, well-rested, the unwashed dishes won't go anywhere (experience confirms that).

Time-in

Time-ins as contrast to time-outs were used in The Happiest Toddler on the Block book and I just love the term and how it describes what I kinda knew from the beginning.

I noticed when I babywore baby Teodor for several hours, usually outside of home, when we came back home, he was happy to play on his own for quite long. Unlike when we were home and he was not getting my full attention all day long.

Today morning Teodor didn't wake up in the best mood, so I decided to take him on his motorbike to our local shop (around 2km) because he loves being outside and ride his motorbike. But he was so slow, he would stop every few metres pointing at something. The more worked up I was getting, the slower he was. Then I realized this was not working and we were both going to end up screaming. I remembered dr. Karp and decided to try time-ins. So I tried playing the boob (was running next to him pretending he was super-fast and I couldn't keep up with him, he was laughing his head off), I gave him hi5 when he reached me or a hug and kisses, I was massaging his back while riding...and it worked. He gradually stopped stopping every few metres and at the end of our trip he was going continuously. Win-win. 

The point is that if you want to reduce the number of tamtrums, lots of time-ins are a great way how to reach the goal. It makes sense, I am also willing to cooperate more with somebody who is nice to me most of the time than somebody who ignores me a lot (and I suppose ignoring is much more annoying for a toddler than for an adult). 

Jak si čteme

Napadlo mě natočit video, jak si s Teodorkem čteme knížku, hlavně proto, že se mi strašně líbí ten komunikativní rozměr, co spolu máme (možná, že si to nalhávám?), není to takové to, že já ho zkouším (jak dělá kravička? kde je traktor?), ale spíš je to o tom, že on mi vypráví a já mu to převádím do své řeči. Sebechvále zdar! :)

Personal care: self-feeding

We are trying this thing that he is cutting his own snacks - it doesn't work as well as I hoped for because:
1) he still puts too much of food in his mouth making it impossible to swallow
2) he is a super-slow eater, so in a dozen of minutes, he gets bored and needs a change of activity

He loved the cutting. Not that he was very good at it but he had so much fun with it. And I guess that is what matters.

Elimination communication

Elimination communication (Bezplenková komunikační metoda) was together with baby signing a thing I had no wish to try, I thought it was for bored mothers, I didn't believe a working woman in Peru or somewhere in Africa has time to deal with her baby's excretory system. Anyway, then Teodor was born and he was a super-gassy baby. Pooping was only possible when I held him above the sink and that was the start of this incredible journey of having pee puddles everywhere (not that much of the poop, though).
At the age of 15 monts I can say he is potty-trained (more accurately sink-trained, he is getting used to using the potty now) during the day, he can control his sphincter muscles and there has been no pushing him (you just get used to having pee everywhere because I stopped giving him diapers when he was around 7 months and started crawling, it was for keeping us both sane) - he has never spent more than a minute above the sink waiting for the pee or poop.
Anyway, I am in a search for underwear fitting him, it seems like the producers assume such young/small babies are not very profitable customers, so there is no point offer underpants in smaller sizes.

Big boy

I am seriously moved when seeing him going on his motorbike. He is no longer a baby, he is a little boy. It is such an exciting journey.

Every day he becomes faster and faster, we go further and further...does it mean one day we will be able to get places fast? The other day I tried to take the motorbike with us when running errands, it worked surprisingly well, definitely much better than I expected. He followed me in the shop, nobody had any comments like that riding a motorbike is not allowed, they smiled at him instead. Seriously, this baby's smile melts everyone's heart! Even the toughest Estonian will start smiling at him after a while.

I am so proud of our baby boy.

Since I posted about him sleeping well, things changed downside again, so I am not going to blog about his sleeping ever again!