(side note: he tried to put the train track together today, didn't succeed, though. He didn't cry the last night and didn't want me to babywear him at night, so I woke up in a playful mood, that's why I took the railroad out)
Friday, April 10, 2015
Practising the new skill
(side note: he tried to put the train track together today, didn't succeed, though. He didn't cry the last night and didn't want me to babywear him at night, so I woke up in a playful mood, that's why I took the railroad out)
Weaning from babywearing
Even though I believe I should babywear my baby as much as he asks for it because it fulfills his needs for contact with his mother, I also believe I have to take care of myself and he should learn to calm himself down to sleep. So a few days ago, I decided not to carry him in the evening till he falls asleep. The trick is in going to sleep later and have daddy present (which means Teodor has to go to bed later because his father comes home at around 7pm)...The dad plays with him or we both pretend to sleep (dad is so much better at it), he slowly wears down and falls asleep nursing.
Today the whiny/cranky baby who threw himself on the floor for no reason (from my point of view) is gone
FINALLY!!!!, the happy toddler is back :), so I thought we might try to take a nap together in the afternoon, I set a time limit of one hour, if he wouldn't fall asleep, I would put him in Tula...and we both fell asleep and slept for two hours. Afternoon naps are not happening for me since he started crawling (at about 7 months), so this was like a huge treat for me :)
FINALLY!!!!, the happy toddler is back :), so I thought we might try to take a nap together in the afternoon, I set a time limit of one hour, if he wouldn't fall asleep, I would put him in Tula...and we both fell asleep and slept for two hours. Afternoon naps are not happening for me since he started crawling (at about 7 months), so this was like a huge treat for me :)
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| Morning nap, looking like a baby in a womb, no? |
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Letting the child lead
I found out that listening to his needs and doing things "his way" works the best for us. Unlike when I read/somebody tells me that this or that should be done, then I think about it, decide to give it a try and then we both end up frustrated. But it does not mean he can do whatever he wants because I am very much aware children need boundaries mostly because it gives them security.
It is kind of difficult in today's society let the child lead because people are worried that the child is a manipulator and is misusing their parent's goodness. I believe Naomi Aldort is right in her book Raising children, raising ourselves that children want to be good, they are not born as manipulators who are testing their parents or little "evils" who have to be disciplined, so they would become decent members of the society. Children learn by observing the world around, (monkey see, monkey do, right?), Maria Montessori calls it absorbent mind, not really sure how they Steiner calls it, but that's not very important, my (Aldort's) point is that if I behave right, children will too. I can already see it on Teodor that he tends to copy my behaviour, which puts some pressure on me to "behave right", like stop eating in front of my laptop without a plate or leaving mess behind. Setting an example is one of our main educational tools. But how we discipline our son should not be the content of this article, so back to having the child as the leader...
Another aspect of people being worried to let the child lead is the highly appreciated independence (because if the child leads in the first year/s, it will include a lot of dependence). So when I mention that Teodor is currently being carried about a third of the day (for naps, shopping,...), some people tend to comment on it like he was never going to gain independence or start telling me how their child is already independent, doesn't want to be carried, etc. I believe/hope he will get what he needs and then he will get off my back again. Yesterday I read an article that an average 6-week-old baby in the USA spends with feeding in mother's arms about 3 hours. Three hours out of 24! It's just scary because babies need the attachment in the first year and 3 hours is just so little. But it was not that different with Teodor -when he was born, my boyfriend didn't want him in the bed, I respected it, and he was not carried because he didn't demand it but when he became 2 months old, he no longer wanted to be in his rocking daybed, so I started babywearing a lot, which led to bed-sharing and attachment parenting. Then he started crawling and started sleeping well in the stroller, better than in the wrap, so I followed his lead and sold most of the wraps. At the age of 11 months, he started walking and started to have serious problems with falling asleep (I guess his brain must be like a very very busy computer), but the carrier (not wrap) helped him to fall asleep, so I started using it. Tula carrier also helps him with calming down when having a tantrum, so there is nothing easier than buckle him in, walk around the apartment for a few minutes and then put him down. The same when he has some nightmares at night, we could try to wake him up (which is recommended, but very difficult, actually) or I just put him on my stomach, walk for a few minutes, put him down, give him breast and continue the sleep.
Yes, I sometimes get a bit unsure if he is ever going to nap somewhere else than in Tula or if he's ever going to stop having tantrums, but then I see some teenagers on the bus and realize that this all will stop one day and it will be a good story to tell, plus I believe it will give him a good starting point for his life, being sure that there is somebody who deeply cares about his needs, which is something child needs more than being independent. Of course, I don't want to raise a 5-year old who wouldn't be able to play on his own, but for some reason I am not worried this will be Teodor's case, he can have such a focused play on his own even at the age of one. He just has problems with calming down on his own because the world is just too interesting and helping him with that is not such a self-sacrifice.
It is kind of difficult in today's society let the child lead because people are worried that the child is a manipulator and is misusing their parent's goodness. I believe Naomi Aldort is right in her book Raising children, raising ourselves that children want to be good, they are not born as manipulators who are testing their parents or little "evils" who have to be disciplined, so they would become decent members of the society. Children learn by observing the world around, (monkey see, monkey do, right?), Maria Montessori calls it absorbent mind, not really sure how they Steiner calls it, but that's not very important, my (Aldort's) point is that if I behave right, children will too. I can already see it on Teodor that he tends to copy my behaviour, which puts some pressure on me to "behave right", like stop eating in front of my laptop without a plate or leaving mess behind. Setting an example is one of our main educational tools. But how we discipline our son should not be the content of this article, so back to having the child as the leader...
Another aspect of people being worried to let the child lead is the highly appreciated independence (because if the child leads in the first year/s, it will include a lot of dependence). So when I mention that Teodor is currently being carried about a third of the day (for naps, shopping,...), some people tend to comment on it like he was never going to gain independence or start telling me how their child is already independent, doesn't want to be carried, etc. I believe/hope he will get what he needs and then he will get off my back again. Yesterday I read an article that an average 6-week-old baby in the USA spends with feeding in mother's arms about 3 hours. Three hours out of 24! It's just scary because babies need the attachment in the first year and 3 hours is just so little. But it was not that different with Teodor -when he was born, my boyfriend didn't want him in the bed, I respected it, and he was not carried because he didn't demand it but when he became 2 months old, he no longer wanted to be in his rocking daybed, so I started babywearing a lot, which led to bed-sharing and attachment parenting. Then he started crawling and started sleeping well in the stroller, better than in the wrap, so I followed his lead and sold most of the wraps. At the age of 11 months, he started walking and started to have serious problems with falling asleep (I guess his brain must be like a very very busy computer), but the carrier (not wrap) helped him to fall asleep, so I started using it. Tula carrier also helps him with calming down when having a tantrum, so there is nothing easier than buckle him in, walk around the apartment for a few minutes and then put him down. The same when he has some nightmares at night, we could try to wake him up (which is recommended, but very difficult, actually) or I just put him on my stomach, walk for a few minutes, put him down, give him breast and continue the sleep.
Yes, I sometimes get a bit unsure if he is ever going to nap somewhere else than in Tula or if he's ever going to stop having tantrums, but then I see some teenagers on the bus and realize that this all will stop one day and it will be a good story to tell, plus I believe it will give him a good starting point for his life, being sure that there is somebody who deeply cares about his needs, which is something child needs more than being independent. Of course, I don't want to raise a 5-year old who wouldn't be able to play on his own, but for some reason I am not worried this will be Teodor's case, he can have such a focused play on his own even at the age of one. He just has problems with calming down on his own because the world is just too interesting and helping him with that is not such a self-sacrifice.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Good news
His first tooth is coming!!!! It is so exciting!!! And I am filled with hope he will become less clingy/whiny after it erupts.
It also seems like the lack of sleep has finally caught up with him because he's been sleeping on my back for more than two hours (that has never happened before) and doesn't show any signs of waking up any time soon. Yay!
It also seems like the lack of sleep has finally caught up with him because he's been sleeping on my back for more than two hours (that has never happened before) and doesn't show any signs of waking up any time soon. Yay!
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Birthday presents
1) Rocking horse Mamas and Papas Pockets Pony - the main and the most expensive present.
It has different textures to stimulate child's sensory perception - I didn't think it was such a big deal and was thinking that maybe we should have bought an ordinary looking brown rocking horse, which would be more according to montessori/waldorf teaching but Teodor, unexpectedly, likes to feel/pat the horse, so it seems we hit the jackpot with buying this one. There is a hole in the nose he hasn't found out about and a hidden squeaker in one of the ears he doesn't know about either. We don't want to show him the squeaker because it is going to drive the dog crazy. I just like it that there are still things for him to explore.
Another reason why we bought a rocking animal is that it should help with developing a sense of balance.
He was a bit suspicious to the horse at the beginning (well, it's almost as big as he is, so no wonder he was not throwing himself at it), but he was driven to come back and rock the horse, touch his nose, etc....well, a day later, after a few tries with daddy (he has holidays now), he has learned to rock on his own. He is even very close to learning getting off without our help. Definitely a good gift and would recommend for a one-year olds, do not regret money spent on it.
2) Hape Duck - Great for developing gross motor skills.
Teodor likes the duck but he is not pushing it in front of him, he carries it, which is funny. He is probably not such a good walker yet, he still has to focus on what his legs are doing instead of on the duck. I am sure he will enjoy it soon.
3) Drum - I guess it's good for motor skills, hearing and rhytm (and annoying our neighbours:)
We got it from our friends and he loves it. He is now in this stage when he likes to hit things with another thing, so it's just perfect + it is bearable sound :)
4) Sound book - he actually got it before his birthday because we didn't want to shovel him with gifts plus I am horrible at keeping stuff I buy from him. I like that the animals are very real-like and that the sounds comes when he turns the pages, he doesn't have to press anything. He is trying to imitate the chickens and cows, so I guess it is a very good present, too.
5) Ball run - good for motor skills and learning the basics of physics (?)
His dad made it for him, he finished it last night and it was standing in the living room when we woke up :)
Monday, April 6, 2015
Getting the baby to be a happy one again
I let again a children trainers' take over my mother's common sense...
I've read somewhere that babies at about 1 year should sleep once a day and also longer, so I had this idea to postpone his morning nap till late morning and that would be it. He was so tired at the end of the day that he fell asleep while nursing, which was actually good, but his nap didn't get any longer, after a few days he got sleep deprived and the cycle of unhappy baby began...
...So I dedicated today to his napping and preventing him from getting worked up...and it worked. Now he is calmly sleeping in our bed while I'm writing this :)
Side note: We started reading before bedtime again because he shows interest in reading, he found the Estonian word tšuhh so funny, I mean nothing lifts your spirit up as a baby laughing his head off because of a word :))
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| Afternoon nap, even though he is already 1, he is still my little baby |
Failed
I had the whole birthday party planned in my head and it all went so wrong.
We were cleaning the whole morning, Teodor was quite fine toddling around, he napped on my back while preparing snacks, but he woke up around the time when the friends came and was a bit off. It was a bit chaotic as we should have started getting ready for the party on Saturday, not on Sunday, which was the actual celebration day, I don't know when things went wrong, but he became so whiny and was whiny the whole party..It got so annoying that we started thinking there was something wrong with him and took him to ER, but they said he was fine and he actually was very fine in the hospital, walking around, smiling at people...
It was a quite sad party, but I am pretty sure I will remember it till the end of my days and it might become a good story to tell when he is older. Trying to see it from the bright side...
Probably the emotions piled up, so he couldn't sleep at night - I made him sleep in the carrier several times, but when I tried to put him to bed (we bed share), he woke up screaming and the only thing making him stop was putting him in the carrier again and march around the apartment. I slept part of the night sitting with him in the carrier, then I managed to make him sleep in the bed (at 2am), when he woke up some time after, he was willing to take the breast and kept sleeping, at about 4:30, I had to put him in the carrier again, but luckily he was fine with being put back to bed, so we slept till 7. This was the worst night in our life together...and I thought when they become one, they are supposed to start sleeping better.
About a week before (maybe two/three, I haven't been very good at keeping track of time lately), he started sleeping very badly at night and it became very difficult to make him nap during the day, in addition to that he got a cold and the weather worsened considerably, so I was not in the mood to really think about the birthday. We invited only my close friend with her husband, the other friend was supposed to come on the next day, but got busy with something, my boyfriend didn't want to invite anybody, but his brother invited himself for the following weekend and he might invite his only friends over, too. Anyway, I see with thayt friend almost every week, so Teodor is familiar with her (and I also meet with the other friend that often, too), not so much with her husband...
We were cleaning the whole morning, Teodor was quite fine toddling around, he napped on my back while preparing snacks, but he woke up around the time when the friends came and was a bit off. It was a bit chaotic as we should have started getting ready for the party on Saturday, not on Sunday, which was the actual celebration day, I don't know when things went wrong, but he became so whiny and was whiny the whole party..It got so annoying that we started thinking there was something wrong with him and took him to ER, but they said he was fine and he actually was very fine in the hospital, walking around, smiling at people...
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| Toddling around the hospital |
It was a quite sad party, but I am pretty sure I will remember it till the end of my days and it might become a good story to tell when he is older. Trying to see it from the bright side...
Probably the emotions piled up, so he couldn't sleep at night - I made him sleep in the carrier several times, but when I tried to put him to bed (we bed share), he woke up screaming and the only thing making him stop was putting him in the carrier again and march around the apartment. I slept part of the night sitting with him in the carrier, then I managed to make him sleep in the bed (at 2am), when he woke up some time after, he was willing to take the breast and kept sleeping, at about 4:30, I had to put him in the carrier again, but luckily he was fine with being put back to bed, so we slept till 7. This was the worst night in our life together...and I thought when they become one, they are supposed to start sleeping better.
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